Thursday, May 10, 2012

Taking it slowly.

I have been studying and practicing on and off for years now.
Ever since I was a little girl really.

I found, however, that I would stop practicing whenever I would start to feel overwhelmed.
Do you know the feeling I'm talking about? I would start researching the moon, then color magick, herbs, and seasons. I would try to memorize every sabbat, its origins, why we celebrated it. Then I wanted to master tarot, then I would attempt to perform (useless) spells. All at the same time! Basically I wanted to know it all in a week.
Eventually it would begin to become to much. I would crash in a pile of confusion and discouragement. 

This time around has been different. I focus on the now. I have been focused on my garden, and my plants. Only really studying one herb a week. I read about the coming full moon (Not ALL of them at one time), I study the closest sabbat, not all 8! And this has been working! Slowly I have started to retain more. I feel more complete. I feel confident in what I have studied. And I have come to understand that I don't know everything - and that is okay.

There is so much I want to know, so much out there. And I am constantly reminded of how short life is. And I don't know how I will have time to learn it all before the end. Then I take a breath, and realize that its not about rushing through, its about the journey.

I've found my interests turned towards the world of the fae recently. Not sure I believe in them completely, but I would like to learn more about them. So that will probably be my next step.

Am I nuts? I can't be the only who has gone through this.

1 comment:

  1. If you're nuts then I'm nuts and I'm not nuts. I'm full on cray cray. :D

    I did the same thing off and on my whole life. Almost two years ago I decided to really dedicate myself and go slow. I've taken it little by little. It's been great for learning and I'm still excited instead of overwhelmed. And there is the added bonus with going slow in that it's been natural and easy to incorporate things into my everyday living. It's simultaneously peaceful and stimulating.

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