Litha 2012.

Last night Loveyy and I attended a Litha ritual. It was amazing as expected, and we both had an awesome time. We danced, and there was singing, and just a whole bunch of Joy and Love.

As apart of the ritual we all were given a piece of thyme, and  small pebble. We were to meditate on where we wanted our spiritual journey to take us in the coming year. Once we had grounded and focused and truly had an answer in our mind, we were to get up and toss the thyme into the fire, releasing our intentions into the universe. We were told to keep the pebble as a reminder.

I've heard of people doing this before, and I thought it would be neat.

Neat, does not come close. It was an awesome experience. I really did think long and hard, and my pebble now sits on my altar, as a constant reminder.

Here is what I meditated on:


By June 21st of next year, I want to have solid roots in my belief system. I know it is ever developing, but I want to know what I believe I want my practices to be an every day thing. The research will be never ending, I'm sure. I will never know everything. But I want to be comfortable. I want to be able to call myself a Pagan, or a green witch, and know exactly what makes me so.
Next June 23rd, I am getting married. And after the wedding, and the honey moon, we are coming out to our families. I want to have answers for their questions. I want to be confident so I can answer their accusations, and hostilities without feeling guilty.

Last night was an important night. I finally acknowledged to myself, that though I still believe he exists, I no longer follow the Christian God. I believe in many of his principles, and I believe Jesus Christ was his son, but his church, and he himself, do not call to me as strongly as others.
It is a bittersweet feeling, literally as I type this I can feel my pulse quickening, and the fear rising. Fear of the unknown. Fear that I am choosing wrong, that I'll be damned. But I have to remind myself : Live in this moment. Live for the life I have today.
If The Christian God is the way, and I am choosing wrong so be it. I am a good person, I live my life without hate. And I do not believe I would be damned in his eyes. How could he send me to hell, merely for following another?

I am happy to have made this choice. I am certainly glad I did before I had children.
What a strange religion Christianity is - To inspire such fear in their followers hearts. My children will know a religion of Love and tolerance. Of respect, and freedom.